Honestly, I think he's taking it a bit slow now - the answer maybe to work up a hybrid between your two versions? I'd also take a moment to consider your music, for me, it's a little like the music you'd find backing a new-age style film about swimming with dolphins - it's not helping you establish that darker quality or sense of something 'building/growing/increasing' - I think you need something more propulsive and perhaps more orchestral; just some examples to help you hear what I think I mean! :)Check out 'The Duel' here:http://www.bensound.com/royalty-free-music/cinematic/2 (It's not right, but it's got that sense of something 'building' up)You might even consider creating a 'rewind' SFX at the point in your film when the action is reversed? So the piece of music is allowed to start again literally. I think you also need to consider 'diegetic' sound too - so the noises made by what we're seeing in addition to the VO and the music. I'd suggest that really expressionistic and imaginative sound design is key to this visual experience.
Come on, Mike - keep your blog updated - don't disappear - how you make work for a client is as important as 'what' you're making - you need to put your workflow out there where we can see it.