From Script to Screen | Step Outline (Redo)
19:01
Camera shows an advertisement for a play, hammered into a
wall, which only portrays the leading woman
Cuts to close-up of the woman’s face. Camera draws back to
show her lying dead on the floor (hair matted with blood) and a bloodied
bludgeon beside her
Cuts to younger woman running out of the room and slamming
door shut behind her. Close-up of her snapping a padlock shut on the door’s
lock
Cuts to OTS shot from the detectives’ perspective of the
young woman performing on-stage (he is sat very close to the stage which is
slightly raised)
CU side-on of detective looking down at a flyer which shows
the murdered woman as the lead role.
ECU side-on of the detective looking back
up at the stage quizzically
ECU of blood splatters on the actress’ ankle
Detective stands suddenly
Cuts to detective walking backstage, past the lead actress’s
door and entering the understudy’s dressing room
ECU of silver key as detective walks over to it
CU of detective pulling key up to eye-level
Cuts to a long hallway with an old door at the end (looks as
though it is never used) and detective peaks his head round a corner, looking either side down the hallway then noticing the door.
Detective quickly
walks out and towards the door
ECU of detective putting key in padlock which clicks open
CU of the dead woman with the door opening in the background
as the detective sees the body
Cut to black
1 comments
Hey Mike... hmmm, it's all bit linear isn't it? Where's the tension? The audience (us) know the identity of the murderer from the very beginning, so all we're watching is a detective solving a crime (very easily!) ... and his suspicions are aroused because the understudy is performing, not the actress - when this would actually be a normal thing and not a strange thing. I like the period setting (lovely influence map etc) but where is the tension that comes from 'obstacles' - there isn't suspense - there's just a straight line. Can you think how a non-linear structure might help you give/take information more dynamically?
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